i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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