i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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