you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
