Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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