the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
