is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
