He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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