i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
