found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Let's get the cat blown out
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
