i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
