2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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