Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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