So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize