There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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