There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
