Having a random hookup so left but love u
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
