just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
