I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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