i barfeds in our rink
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
