there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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