Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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