Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize