i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
