I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
