I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the day after is always just damage control
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize