took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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