I need help removing her.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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