if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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