I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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