guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize