Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
