First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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