: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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