Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
