The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
