whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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