You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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