Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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