i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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