he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
