I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
organizing the empties. That sober.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
