i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
