I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
