Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
