Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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