I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize