Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Apparently you make a good broom.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
