I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
