And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
