hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize