so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
