At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
