ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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