Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
