Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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