I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
birth control should be required to get into college
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
