Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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