I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He shit in the fireplace
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
