This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My vagina just recognized that song.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
