Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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