nut hugger
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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