I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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