is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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