The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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