No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
