I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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