i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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