no, he came in my armpit
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize