Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have fence marks all over my body
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
